The Unthinkable...

It's been a while since I've written (even if I'm ever the only one to read it). Life was just too chaotic to try to concentrate on putting my thoughts down. I also want to be careful not to overshare. It's not just MY life, but OUR life and I want to be careful to protect THEIR privacy.

So....we were on our way to go camping when the unthinkable happens...

The boys, our precious twins, we coming back into care and would we be willing to have them placed back with us. Um! Hello? You didn't even have to ask...when and where; we will be there!

It had only been about a month and a half, but it felt like and eternity to me. So many emotions! Happiness that I would get to hold them again, but sadness over the events that brought them back.

It has been a rollercoaster ever since with 3 little ones and 2 teens in the house, but we have loved every second of it...well, almost...I was NOT fond of Poopageddon, but that's another story for another time...maybe ;) 

A Knife Through the Heart

Our very first foster loves went back home after having been with us from the age of 2 months to 13 months. 

We have tried hard to maintain a good relationship between the bio parents. We've been told we could come to special things in the future like birthday parties, sending Christmas gifts, etc (but I'm uncertain if that will actually ever happen). At the last visit with mom, she said, "dad and I don't want the boys to ever know they were in foster care...so..." 

I felt like I was stabbed in the heart with a knife. The last 10 months flashed thru my mind...round the clock feedings, numerous doctor visits, sleepless nights rocking babies to sleep, first words, first smiles, first steps, wiping tears, all those hugs and cuddles...erased in an instant. I'm sure mom didn't mean it this way, but her words cut deep. I was speechless and for those of you who know me, you KNOW I'm never at a lack for words. The man who oversees the visits could tell I was about to bust out crying and jumped in and said, "just say she is a family friend".

 ...A family friend...it's a hard transition to make going from foster mom to 'family friend'. It's a hard thing giving your babies on loan back. So, this morning, I prayed for all of the foster families. 

Know that you are loved and treasured and that what you are doing matters and makes a difference for the better in the lives of these precious children even if we are the only ones that remember.